Winding Down Another Term

First, Happy Independence Day to my readers in the USA! Hope you all have a fantastic time at your cookouts, family gatherings, fireworks, and all the fantastic fun July 4th entails!

Here we are again, at the end of another term at SNHU. This term I tackled “Speculative Fiction I” and “The Publishing Ecosystem”. I just finished up week 8 work, and final projects are due in week 9, which means that I am preparing to start compiling my final projects in both classes. If I keep on, I’m on schedule to obtain my MFA by October of 2022. Right now that seems like it’s so far away, but it also feels like it’s right around the corner.

There’s so much work left to do on my thesis novel, and I feel like I have no time to do it. I’m trying to savor the moments that I have with both my husband and my son (aka “the boys”) because…well, just because. I love them so much it almost hurts, and my way of showing love is activities. This summer we’ve been to a comicon, we’ve been to Cleveland, and my husband and I went to a RenFest. We’ve got another comicon coming up, and a host of other activities. It won’t be long before my son goes back to campus for his sophomore year. If we’re just home doing nothing, I feel like we’re just sort of spinning our wheels and wasting time that we could be spending making memories.

On the other hand, I know that if (when) I finish this degree, I’ll be able to do so much more with the boys than I ever could before. I am gaining confidence every day, and I really think that this thesis novel can be successful. I feel like I can be a real writer, not just someone who writes in their free time. I’m beginning to be taken seriously by writing peers, as well; I’ve been invited to participate in an exclusive writer’s workshop in my area, and I’m very much looking forward to it. I just need to pay for it now, and get on the ball with a submission for the workshop (due by August 31).

Doing all this is…overwhelming. I have so much to do that I can’t get started or work on or finish anything. And that, my friends, has me feeling so guilty I almost can’t stand it. My mind’s a jumble, and I can’t get focused on anything but the most narrowly-directed tasks. School assignments have a clear goal and I can finish it because I know what I have to do and I know when I have to do it by. The rest of it is nebulous, and it’s stressing me far more than it should.

In the past week, we also found out that we need to make a significant change to my husband’s diet. This, in combination with my already restrictive diabetic diet, as well as my son’s swimmer’s diet (he’s a college swimming athlete), is making me even more stressed, especially since the hubs is obstinate about changing his diet. He’s exceptionally picky, and changing over to a high fiber, high protein, low carb (because of me) diet that does not include excessive amounts of red meat is giving us all a great deal of tension. We really only started this change this weekend, but… with only one meal under our belts (grilled Caribbean jerk chicken and veg kabobs), which wasn’t successful (it got a “meh” reaction from the hubs – he said he wouldn’t ask me to make it again), I’m not optimistic. I have Chinese beef and broccoli in the crock pot right now, so we’ll have to see how that goes today.

I don’t really have any writing advice today, and nothing special to offer. Just a little insight into the mind of a struggling writer attempting to make a serious go of it in a career that’s been a dream for 20+ years, and wondering if it’s going to actually work. Just a little bit of pressure reduction, I think – letting off a little bit of steam in a neutral environment. I appreciate my readers, and apologize for last week’s silence; I was sunburned and exhausted from my day in the sun at the RenFest, and in a whole lot of pain from doing more walking that normal. Honestly, I forgot about my Sunday communique until I laid down to go to sleep that night.

Fair warning, though – it may happen again, as time, activity, and stress levels dictate. Until then, enjoy your Sunday, enjoy your Independence Day, and I’ll be back next week!